Book Excerpt: A Quiet Seeker
Here is a small section of the spiritual memoir I am currently writing. This section deals with a one of my guardian angels appearing when I needed him most.
Bain was out on Sabbatical working on his latest opera, Mary Queen of Scotts and had not been present since my attendance began. I feared him as the rumors of his stern and demanding teaching style garnered deep respect from even the most talented of musicians and composers. When I met him in Counterpoint, I was terrified. Me, the back door student with the undeclared (meaning unaccepted) major of composition. I was sure to be ejected and put in my place.
One day mid-semester, he called on me to stay after class. He pulled up a chair across from me and sat. He had this way of crossing his legs so that one draped over the other like no leg exited. Only the fabric of the pant. His full head of white hair and thick black glasses stared me down. Me, the flannel wearing Eddie Vetter looking grunge. My heart began to feel like this was it, I was going to be ejected.
“Do you like composing music?” He asked.
“Of course! I love it.”
“I see real potential in you and I am wondering if you would be interested in joining my department.”
To this day, I tear because someone of respect showed faith in me enough to call it out.
“I would love to.” I replied in my young and inarticulate response.
“Good. Because I think you belong here.” He added.
I wore that conversation as a badge of honor. One that I used as a sword whenever I felt the “roasting” of my fellow classmates jab at me.
The initial studies which focused on Classical theory were terribly difficult for me. But, for the first time, I was accepted and no one, not even my parents could protest. I was getting a college education and I was doing it the way I wanted. I found meaning and purpose.
It was not until my later years when I began to really absorb 20th century counterpoint and harmony did composition enter into the philosophical and spiritual. When I was musically competent enough to use music to create a message rather than prove understanding through assignments.